Lessons I learn and teach myself.

During my education in the University, when the going got hard, a fleeting moment would come upon me where I would question what I was doing and ask myself if it was worth all the hard work. With an adamant yes, I would push that moment of weakness far back and strive ahead.

Now I’m in the real world. Facing the real facts of life. No cushions to fall on, no trampoline to bounce back up with, no marshmallow clouds and vanilla moons, no sweet lemon crusted sun or bubble gum blue sky. It’s the real thing where whatever I say is taken for what it is and beyond, where my actions are the only cutlasses paving my future.

I still get those fleeting moments of confusion where I get the urge to recline and hide like an ostrich. And then a little voice within me reminds me that reclining would not make the world stop moving and that reclining would not make people and events around me evaporate. It would only throw me into quick sand where I will not have help because I would be sinking alone, voluntarily. And by alone, not only will the people around me not be able to help me, but even I would not be able to help myself.

It’s during these moments of weakness that I realise what it means for me to be the mature individual that I have grown to become and the woman that everyone sees me as. I realise that shutting out “my world” would not make things easier, it would only show how weak I am with my inability to push forward while maintaining my ground and still accepting everyone around me. And then I realise what it really means to be strong. The ability to stand my ground, suck the negativity with a cushion, reshape that cushion and throw it back out.

I have learned different ways of coping and adjusting, sometimes it’s by the support of someone close and other times it’s by simply doing something that allows me a mental corridor where I leave the negativity behind. No one has the ability to set back those moments if I do not accept to let go.

With all that’s said, the core of what ultimately makes me more confident again about my moment of weakness towards the thoughts of reclining is faith. Having the ultimate faith that Allah will make things better for me. Entrusting him to take care of things. That always brings peace to my heart and mind. I’m learning how simple it is to do that now. It involves pausing the racing thoughts in my mind and just pushing matters towards Him. It brings amazing peace to my heart.

Spice

A Pearly Eye

 

A pearly eye

And twinkly smiles

 Majestic across the miles

 

 A silver tide

 In a poetic glide

 Moving from side to side

 

 A ebony rise

 At untouchable ties

 A cloak to all the spies

 

 Emotions on a ride

 Through a serene slide

 Tranquility with no divide

 

Mariam.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

And the mirror finally replies to all those who ask “Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”

Mirror

“Dear people looking at me,
stop asking this question and let me be.

Is it not enough you can see through me?
For it really is not as easy seeing through thee.

Devoured I feel with the looks in your eyes,
they sometimes sparkle like fireflies.

In your question to me you expect me to say,
an answer that only you can cause to play.

Be the answer you wish to hear,
for that is the only answer that is always loud and clear.”

Spice

Are you smart? the missing dollar quiz is for you :p

You saw a shirt worth $97, you didn’t have cash and so you decided to borrow $50 from your dad and $50 from your mom…now you have $100.

Since the shirt is $97, you have $3 left after buying the shirt. You returned $1 to mom and $1 to dad and you kept $1, now you owe mom $49 and dad $49, =$98, plus the $1 with you=$99.

So where is the missing one dollar?

Sugar.

yes I’m angry and can’t handle it..just like you

“You may have every right to be angry with someone, but you know that by getting angry with him you will only lose your precious peace of mind..”

The most annoying feeling when encountered with a conflict, dispute or disagreement is anger. Its never a pleasant emotional state especially when I don’t have control over it. It ends up controlling me by taking my anger out on someone other than the person I’m angry with. I’m silent, morose, and bad-tempered mostly out of annoyance or disappointment.

This attitude bothers me so much but I honestly haven’t tried working on it, maybe I’m waiting for it to change by itself in a twinkle of an eye and with the least effort possible (impossible I know!)

Worst case scenario: Destroying relationships and creating a hostile environment around me.

Best case scenario:  I work on it for real this time and I’ll finally be able to eat my anger and never show it and probably learn to express my anger in a safe manner. (isn’t that amazing?)

I know there are lots of people like me out there who are having the same problem and it gets boring and annoying when someone decides to give us advice on how to manage our anger (Dude, you surely dunno how anger eats into me..cut me some slack and enough with the goody goody Dalai Lama attitude).

Nevertheless, maybe these steps will help me and you get over those sudden flashy moments: (they’re just a summary of many links on the web)

1. When you are angry say nothing.

If we speak in anger we will definitely aggravate the situation. If we can remain silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.

2. Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry.

Some people take a malicious pleasure in trying to make us mad. However, if we can feel indifferent to them and their words then it will have no effect.

3. Focus on something completely different.

Suppose someone has done something to make you angry. Think about something which will make you happy. The best antidote to negativity is to focus on the positive.

4. Change your environment

Sometimes it’s our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the “trap” you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

5. Address conflicts at a personal level.

If there is a conflict with another person is very easy to keep the anger and tension between the two. It is particularly important to solve the dispute especially if they are people who see each other often, otherwise this can create a very unpleasant situation.

“Common Sense
If you leave your unlocked bike in the center of town, it is likely to get stolen. This can be frustrating and is likely to give rise to feelings of anger. Of course, we should  minimize this kind of situation – simply remember to lock your bike.” By-Sri Chinmoy (Read More)

Another helpful link here and this too.

Sugar.

Nostalgic memories…

A sweet memory visits me
every now and then

It peckers on me with its dainty
peak like a white fluffy hen

It rolls all around me and leaves
marks like a pen

Then suddenly I find myself in a
memories filled den

Nostalgic memories that make
me feel like I am but ten

I marvel upon these memories as if
they were across a ben

I look at where I am and compare to
where I was then

I revel in the honey crusted
feelings that place me on a fen

Between a smile and a tear,
nostalgic memories play me like an
atenteben

Between a cloven certain and
hesitant yen,

Nostalgic memories drift back into
their bitter-sweet lem

And loom back into the sky to
decorate it like the wezen…

Spice

Addiction of the day: Adele – Someone like you…

It is just one of those days where a song sticks on me.

 

Spice