From Wallflower to Social Butterfly: My Journey to Confidence and Outgoingness

I used to be the kind of person who would shrink into the background at social gatherings. I was shy and uncomfortable in my own skin. But that all changed when I decided to take control of my life and become the confident, outgoing person I always dreamed of being.

It was challenging. In fact, it was one of the toughest challenges I’ve ever faced. But I knew that I had to take the first step if I wanted to live a fulfilling and meaningful life. So I began by taking personal responsibility for my own circumstances. I looked inward and asked myself what was important to me. I began to express my own opinions and perspectives.

Along the way, I faced several challenges. I had to learn to be kind to myself when I made mistakes or felt anxious in social situations. It’s easy to be hard on ourselves, but this kind of self-criticism only holds us back. By being gentler and reminding myself that it’s okay to make mistakes, I let go of some of my fears and became more open to new experiences.

As I continued my journey, I began seeing the benefits of becoming more confident and outgoing. My relationships deepened, and I experienced a greater sense of personal fulfilment. I realized that the transformation I had undergone was not just about becoming more assertive and outgoing but about becoming the best version of myself.

And the journey didn’t stop there. In fact, it’s still ongoing. I continue to work on myself daily, always striving to learn, grow, and improve. The journey requires effort and dedication, but the benefits are immeasurable.

Stay tuned for more updates on my journey from wallflower to social butterfly. In my next article, I’ll share more about the challenges and triumphs I’ve encountered along the way. Thanks for reading!

Take me back to the day before yesterday

Take me back to the day before yesterday
When you were firm but soft like a ball of clay
When you would whisper to me at the light of day
When you would smile in a manner that was tender and gay

Take me back to the day before yesterday
When thoughts of pain were miles away
When I could linger back and admire what you say
When my smiles were drawn by you in an array

Take me back to the day before yesterday
When worry and sadness were shelved to decay
When happy moments were on replay
When your kind words lured me to stay

Here I am sitting today
Wondering why things took a turn this way
But feeling rejuvenated by the glowing rays of the day
And staring at the prize right ahead of my path way

As much as I wish it was the day before yesterday
I am looking forward to the day after today

A bank robbery!

Yesterday, two company employees were returning back to our office in Adabraka after collecting a large sum of money from Fidelity Bank at Ridge. While on the move, a strange sound was being heard from one of the vehicle tires. The driver eventually came to a halt in order to investigate the source of the sound. In the mean time the vehicle was being followed by two men on a motorbike.

As soon as the driver left the vehicle, he was attacked by the men on the motorbike. Following this the other employee left the car to assist the driver and this led to the money that was collected from Fidelity bank to be snatched through the door that was left ajar.

Investigation has begun, however, the Police were not able to help thus far; BROLL Ghana, who brags of impeccable building management services, could not assist on the matter despite them being the company managing the building and finally Fidelity bank, does not even have a CCTV camera system to provide footage of the early chase.

The culprits stuck a fabricated object onto the tire when the vehicle halted at the traffic light (images attached below). The fabricated object was made of rubber, some nails and an empty coke can.

The bank manager later mentioned that this sort of crime had happened before and that there was a discussion on this recurring theft with other bank managers (DISCUSSION AND NOT ACTION) I shall not delve into the flawed security we are suffering from and how BROLL and Fidelity Bank take their customers for granted, but rather I wish to provide tips on how to avoid being the next victim.

1. Be on alert when leaving your bank in case you are being watched
2. Check your car tires before sitting in your car
3. Keep an eye on your mirror in case you are being followed
4. Be alert while at a traffic light, as this was when the object that enabled the crime to enfold  was stuck beneath the tire
5. If at any point you hear a strange sound from your vehicle, try your best to only stop at a police station or a public area, because the moment you stop, the thieves will stomp on you.

fabricated object stuck onto car tire to aid robbery

The best kind of relationships – Part 1

I’ve hardly ventured into discussing relationships on this blog because in my conservative culture that is more of an under-the-table topic. Not because it doesn’t happen, but more because it is not discussed openly.

However, as I am moving through the “College of Life”, I am also taking courses on relationships. Unfortunately for me, the instructors hardly gave me manuals and the classes are basically reliant on my contributions.

I have come to the conclusion, as of today, that the best kind of relationship is one that you do not know you are in. The kind that builds from a friendship bond that was closely knitted over a period of time, unsuspectingly so, or maybe a tiny bit suspecting with a butterfly nip at your nape – One where you have no list to constantly compare that other person to – One where you do not have a list you compare yourself to either. But rather like a clear, beautiful river that flows freely in which you may swim without getting hurt and then with a serene, peaceful, green, flower-patched bank that you can also relax on until one day you are lucky enough to witness the mesmerizing golden sunrise at and realize; wow! I love this place and then realize the place also loves you back and for that reason, it had always been kind in your presence.

What is your best kind of relationship?

Along my trail

A long and silent wail

With emotions so weak and frail

I seek a comforting sail

But I surface with no avail

 

Tears silently escape

From lids that sadly drape

To cover my eyes like a cape

And seal my sorrow with a tape

 

My pain is tender and quail

But my pride will always prevail

To keep balance to my quivering rail

And conceal my sadness without any fail

 

Feelings lodged within me like a grape

Confusing me providing no escape

Questions sink to the back of my nape

And answers whizzing by like a slape

 

I drift back to a comforting trail

Following through my anointed grail

Engulfed with strength from The One we hail

Marked by clarity beyond any fail.

Lessons I learn and teach myself.

During my education in the University, when the going got hard, a fleeting moment would come upon me where I would question what I was doing and ask myself if it was worth all the hard work. With an adamant yes, I would push that moment of weakness far back and strive ahead.

Now I’m in the real world. Facing the real facts of life. No cushions to fall on, no trampoline to bounce back up with, no marshmallow clouds and vanilla moons, no sweet lemon crusted sun or bubble gum blue sky. It’s the real thing where whatever I say is taken for what it is and beyond, where my actions are the only cutlasses paving my future.

I still get those fleeting moments of confusion where I get the urge to recline and hide like an ostrich. And then a little voice within me reminds me that reclining would not make the world stop moving and that reclining would not make people and events around me evaporate. It would only throw me into quick sand where I will not have help because I would be sinking alone, voluntarily. And by alone, not only will the people around me not be able to help me, but even I would not be able to help myself.

It’s during these moments of weakness that I realise what it means for me to be the mature individual that I have grown to become and the woman that everyone sees me as. I realise that shutting out “my world” would not make things easier, it would only show how weak I am with my inability to push forward while maintaining my ground and still accepting everyone around me. And then I realise what it really means to be strong. The ability to stand my ground, suck the negativity with a cushion, reshape that cushion and throw it back out.

I have learned different ways of coping and adjusting, sometimes it’s by the support of someone close and other times it’s by simply doing something that allows me a mental corridor where I leave the negativity behind. No one has the ability to set back those moments if I do not accept to let go.

With all that’s said, the core of what ultimately makes me more confident again about my moment of weakness towards the thoughts of reclining is faith. Having the ultimate faith that Allah will make things better for me. Entrusting him to take care of things. That always brings peace to my heart and mind. I’m learning how simple it is to do that now. It involves pausing the racing thoughts in my mind and just pushing matters towards Him. It brings amazing peace to my heart.

Spice

A Pearly Eye

 

A pearly eye

And twinkly smiles

 Majestic across the miles

 

 A silver tide

 In a poetic glide

 Moving from side to side

 

 A ebony rise

 At untouchable ties

 A cloak to all the spies

 

 Emotions on a ride

 Through a serene slide

 Tranquility with no divide

 

Mariam.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

And the mirror finally replies to all those who ask “Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”

Mirror

“Dear people looking at me,
stop asking this question and let me be.

Is it not enough you can see through me?
For it really is not as easy seeing through thee.

Devoured I feel with the looks in your eyes,
they sometimes sparkle like fireflies.

In your question to me you expect me to say,
an answer that only you can cause to play.

Be the answer you wish to hear,
for that is the only answer that is always loud and clear.”

Spice

Are you smart? the missing dollar quiz is for you :p

You saw a shirt worth $97, you didn’t have cash and so you decided to borrow $50 from your dad and $50 from your mom…now you have $100.

Since the shirt is $97, you have $3 left after buying the shirt. You returned $1 to mom and $1 to dad and you kept $1, now you owe mom $49 and dad $49, =$98, plus the $1 with you=$99.

So where is the missing one dollar?

Sugar.

yes I’m angry and can’t handle it..just like you

“You may have every right to be angry with someone, but you know that by getting angry with him you will only lose your precious peace of mind..”

The most annoying feeling when encountered with a conflict, dispute or disagreement is anger. Its never a pleasant emotional state especially when I don’t have control over it. It ends up controlling me by taking my anger out on someone other than the person I’m angry with. I’m silent, morose, and bad-tempered mostly out of annoyance or disappointment.

This attitude bothers me so much but I honestly haven’t tried working on it, maybe I’m waiting for it to change by itself in a twinkle of an eye and with the least effort possible (impossible I know!)

Worst case scenario: Destroying relationships and creating a hostile environment around me.

Best case scenario:  I work on it for real this time and I’ll finally be able to eat my anger and never show it and probably learn to express my anger in a safe manner. (isn’t that amazing?)

I know there are lots of people like me out there who are having the same problem and it gets boring and annoying when someone decides to give us advice on how to manage our anger (Dude, you surely dunno how anger eats into me..cut me some slack and enough with the goody goody Dalai Lama attitude).

Nevertheless, maybe these steps will help me and you get over those sudden flashy moments: (they’re just a summary of many links on the web)

1. When you are angry say nothing.

If we speak in anger we will definitely aggravate the situation. If we can remain silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.

2. Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry.

Some people take a malicious pleasure in trying to make us mad. However, if we can feel indifferent to them and their words then it will have no effect.

3. Focus on something completely different.

Suppose someone has done something to make you angry. Think about something which will make you happy. The best antidote to negativity is to focus on the positive.

4. Change your environment

Sometimes it’s our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the “trap” you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

5. Address conflicts at a personal level.

If there is a conflict with another person is very easy to keep the anger and tension between the two. It is particularly important to solve the dispute especially if they are people who see each other often, otherwise this can create a very unpleasant situation.

“Common Sense
If you leave your unlocked bike in the center of town, it is likely to get stolen. This can be frustrating and is likely to give rise to feelings of anger. Of course, we should  minimize this kind of situation – simply remember to lock your bike.” By-Sri Chinmoy (Read More)

Another helpful link here and this too.

Sugar.