“You may have every right to be angry with someone, but you know that by getting angry with him you will only lose your precious peace of mind..”
The most annoying feeling when encountered with a conflict, dispute or disagreement is anger. Its never a pleasant emotional state especially when I don’t have control over it. It ends up controlling me by taking my anger out on someone other than the person I’m angry with. I’m silent, morose, and bad-tempered mostly out of annoyance or disappointment.
This attitude bothers me so much but I honestly haven’t tried working on it, maybe I’m waiting for it to change by itself in a twinkle of an eye and with the least effort possible (impossible I know!)
Worst case scenario: Destroying relationships and creating a hostile environment around me.
Best case scenario: I work on it for real this time and I’ll finally be able to eat my anger and never show it and probably learn to express my anger in a safe manner. (isn’t that amazing?)
I know there are lots of people like me out there who are having the same problem and it gets boring and annoying when someone decides to give us advice on how to manage our anger (Dude, you surely dunno how anger eats into me..cut me some slack and enough with the goody goody Dalai Lama attitude).
Nevertheless, maybe these steps will help me and you get over those sudden flashy moments: (they’re just a summary of many links on the web)
1. When you are angry say nothing.
If we speak in anger we will definitely aggravate the situation. If we can remain silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.
2. Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry.
Some people take a malicious pleasure in trying to make us mad. However, if we can feel indifferent to them and their words then it will have no effect.
3. Focus on something completely different.
Suppose someone has done something to make you angry. Think about something which will make you happy. The best antidote to negativity is to focus on the positive.
4. Change your environment
Sometimes it’s our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the “trap” you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.
5. Address conflicts at a personal level.
If there is a conflict with another person is very easy to keep the anger and tension between the two. It is particularly important to solve the dispute especially if they are people who see each other often, otherwise this can create a very unpleasant situation.
If you leave your unlocked bike in the center of town, it is likely to get stolen. This can be frustrating and is likely to give rise to feelings of anger. Of course, we should minimize this kind of situation – simply remember to lock your bike.” By-Sri Chinmoy (Read More)